Meet Eric, a volunteer
Profiling our friend and long-time volunteer Eric Arbuckle. His name seems to be synonymous with palliative care volunteerism, and one that is often met with a quiet reflection or the comment “he’s been involved with palliative work for a long time.” Yes, he has. The Society itself has been in existence for now over thirty years and Eric has been there for every piece of that.
Eric recounts “my first real experience with death was that of my wonderful Aunt Laura. A routine gallbladder surgery turned out to be a not so routine procedure after discovering she was terminal with only a few short months to live. She asked for me to be with her on her end-of-life journey. When I expressed my anxiety, she said “I will help you learn about palliative.” That was my start really. She was a fascinating woman. We walked the hallways. We chatted. She freely discussed her fate and wishes and wanted me to help her family cope with the finality of her life. Her middle name was Grace. In hospital she embodied this “grace “in her death. I had another experience early on with a dying mother, someone outside of my family this time. I was concerned about my ability to help when I was asked thinking that I had such a limited experience with such things, her response was one I will never forget “what you don’t know I’ll teach you”. It was a lesson that lasted for a year and a half before she eventually died.” The passing of Eric’s mother however, found him in a deeper period of reflection and grief than ever before. “Although I knew the psychology of it all, when my mother died, I knew nothing! I still listen to her voice mail messages that I have taped. She was after all my mother of over 70 years!”
Asking Eric what was the most profound period for him during his time with volunteer work? “The Aids pandemic.” No hesitation. “I began spending my time initially with cancer patients who were terminally ill, but the AIDS epidemic was rapidly gaining momentum, and many were returning “home” for support and it was then we knew that we had to really look at the preparedness of our palliative offering here. HIV/AIDS was thought to only happen in big cities not in our own small rural towns. In the summer of 1992 I was invited to give a presentation to the residents of Casey House in Toronto (founder/author June Callwood) I learned of the many betrayals felt by the patients dying there. Their loss of family, community, jobs, mental health, the physical and emotional toll… It was a place where I felt a deep connection with. I shared the same presentation as the one I gave in Saskatoon at the Canadian National Palliative Care Conference. I was horrified at first, presenting on both occasions, as I was still new at this, but it was so much needed and was extremely rewarding. Many there we living the final days of their lives reconciling all things lost because of their sexuality. It was a sad reality. For the most part people have come to terms with their own fears around this.”
Now COVID19 enters preventing life long palliative volunteers like Eric from visiting the Palliative Care Unit at Aberdeen Hospital. The one on one has been taken away. We have continually heard of this tremendous sense of loss.
“I need to mention Dr. Winston Makhan. He was the godfather of the palliative movement here in Pictou County. The driver. He had the vision. He still is a great friend in my life today.”
Even in volunteerism, burn out is real. So, how does Eric relax? “I love food, love to cook and create recipes from just about anything. Change a recipe if need be. I cannot abide wasting food so leftovers even though a challenge, it is hit or miss. The occasional dinner out. I enjoy red wine, or an extra dry martini with olives – the best.” A few further tidbits: Eric’s favorite sound? “The burst of someone’s deep laughter.” Favorite word? “hun”, it is an endearing term but one that warms my heart when I hear it”.
Thank you for Eric, and Cheers to you.
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Thanks for reading along.
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